Back To The Dark Ages

My waking up at five was not at all as inspirational and miraculous as it was last time. I was still glad that I did it though. I spent a very nice day out in the sun and actually made some recordings of myself reading my “songs” as poetry. Which went much better than I ever wanted. Too much. I mean I wasn’t pleased at all. I though that I was writing songs, but it was hard, with no musical talent, no melody, and no music - but I was still adamant I was writing songs. It doesn’t seem that way anymore. I still can’t sing, I had doubts about the lifestyle and all of that and it just sounded too right as poetry. And I hate it. I dare not share it with anyone, even more than I am reluctant to sing in my terrible voice, for the fear that someone will say that it sounds good.

But the good news is that I did write a song yesterday (or poem or whatever I’m calling it these days). I wrote it about not being able to write. About the awful weather, my lack of inspiration, my stupid dreams, the fact that this is probably a poem, why I write, and for whom, the fact that I’m moving soon and that I’ve woken up and found that this mess that I always thought I still had years to perfect- is my life now. In short, it was a big song. Poem. Thing.

Also the power went out today. For six hours. There was a huge storm and some powerlines came down. The one thing I was really appalled about was that the major cities which are 100s of kilometres away got brilliant coverage of what was just happening down the road, but I had no idea. No matter what station I tuned into (on my tiny battery operated radio) they couldn’t tell me anything. I only knew when someone called up asking me if I was alright because they lived in one of these cities and had heard about the “horrible storms”. Oh, that and the fact that it took them SIX HOURS to fix it! So my power was out, for nearly the whole day. In the 35°C (95°F) heat with no air conditioner and no running water.

But I wasn’t upset at all. I think it really made me realise how utterly dependent on technology I am. I mean, the fridge stopping and no running water sucks, but otherwise I coped fine. For one it stopped me watching this utterly shameful 90s kids movie in the middle of the day, I conserved energy (and greenhouse gas emissions, not that I’m bad like that at all anyway) and I had a good breakfast. Of plums and strawberries off my very own plants.

Though I got stuck with cereal for lunch, a meal and a drink in one, only had to open the now warm fridge once you see. I also got the opportunity to see some mysterious types talking out the front of the property, no idea what about though.

But I spent most of my time sitting on a stool in front of my bedroom window, damp after hosing myself down with the garden hose from the gravity tank, and close by my radio, keeping me amused and telling me no useful news at all.

Then the power came back on.

I spent a full minute going “Oh! Oh! The fridge works! How cool is that?! And I can flush the toilet, and wash my hands inside! Oh, and hear the radio properly! The lights turn on! And have a cooked meal! Ooh I can watch crappy TV again! I can turn the fan on!!!”

So much for reformation.

☆Anika☆