The Harrington Files: It’s Not A Toothbrush, It’s An Experience

These past few days I really haven’t had much to blog about. It’s been peaceful, not boring. Until these things started pissing me off.

First off: Miley Cyrus. Every single day I hear that woeful pathetic single of hers ‘See You Again’, twice. Have you ever listened to the words of it? You hardly notice over the thumping synths and her whiny forced southern American accent. Here is a sample from the chorus. Brace yourself; then read it slowly and blankly:

The last time I freaked out,
I just kept looking down,
I st-st-stuttered when
You asked me what I’m thinkin’ bout
Felt like I couldn’t breathe
You asked what’s wrong with me
My best friend Lesley said
"Oh she’s just being Miley!"

The whole song; to break it down into even terms her audience could understand; is about meeting a hot boy and acting like a dork in front of him, then beating yourself up about it. Get over it! As some of my brash male friends would say, “Grow some balls!”
This song makes me want to gouge peoples’ eyes out. They played her whole frigging album from start to finish in a clothing store the other day. I just about impaled myself on the discount bra stand. Then I left.
The only thing that made me feel better was when I wondered what would happen if I Googled “Miley Cyrus must die!”, here are some choice quotes from the results:

I hate miley cyrus and i agree she should die!! ∙ Report Abuse
Nay , Nay, Nay !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... She should DIE ! ∙ 17 minutes ago
So just do us all a favor and die Miley Ray Ugly Cyrus! .... I think all you miley lovers sucks and should all die right along with her!
i think miley should die! shes a totall fake and can even sing!
i want to have sex with miley cyrus, she is so f-ing HOT!!!!!!! Posted 6 weeks ago. ∙ she should die in HELL Posted 3 days ago.
More photos of Miley Cyrus and Thomas Thurges kissing ahead. ... really disgusting and a slut and a whore no one likes her she should die and go to hell
i hate miley cyrus (hannah montana) she is fuckin gay as hell
If all Miley haters should die, then almost the entire world, would be dead!

Also there is a girl at my school who has it in for me. She is now personified to my readers as Miss Bitch. Every single thing I say, she has a quip for. She is constantly patronisingly faking being amazed with me, and always sniggering in her corner with her vapid blonde “friends”. If I laugh at something she drawls “Oh yeah, like that was even funny.” Every time I eat something she asks what it is and then acts like she’s never seen it before. Every time I enter a room she asks me what I’m doing or how my day has been in such sickly sweet tones I want to vomit on her. Lately she has taken to following me around and having a go at my friends too. Today I picked her up on it. Foolishly without my very own crowd of cronies. “What is your problem with me? Huh?” She acted like she had no idea what I was on about – “Oh I just like how much you know about food.” Riiight. Then the moment I left the room she laughed so hard I think her noodles came out her nose. She deserves all she gets.
As I said to my friends, “Who died and made her queen bitch?”

Also two things from my work place; and they aren’t people.
The only thing more annoying than them is how often they play the Fine-Fare Biscuits ad. I must hear it about 10 times in 2 two hours. And it always interrupts a good song. “Instead of fancy TV ads Fine-Fare give you (quality product)” – No, fucking annoying radio ads!
You know that dental care brand Oral B? Well they have a new ad out, for the Oral B Cross-Action Pro Health. It begins with an awful irritating tricked up deep Australian male voice saying some shit about how new it is; then it continues with lines like “There’s a reason Oral B is the toothbrush more dentist use. We think it’s because of the unique cleaning surfaces it has to offer”, “This is a toothbrush that doesn’t just clean your teeth, its crisscross bristles reach deep between teeth and along the gumline to lift and sweep away plaque; and the gum, massagers massage you gums promoting a healthy mouth, and the tongue cleaner sweeps away, odour causing – bacteria.”, “And while all this is going on, the power-tipped bristles are gently polishing away, surface stains”, “So ask yourself, when you buy your next toothbrush, are you going to just clean your teeth, or are you going to get The Whole Treatment.”, “For a cleaner, healthier mouth, pick one up in your health and beauty aisle TODAY.”